How to Cope with Living a Double Life: Part 1 + "Dry January" Attempts?!

The title is far more dramatic that its contents.
This is not about spies and doppelgangers.
Sorry.

Firstly, we need to announce the commencement of a social experiment involving a) Refreshers, b) sociologists and c) actually us pretending to be the sociologists. Sounds exciting but simultaneously incredibly ominous, doesn't it? That's how we like it.

"Dry January" is all the rage at the moment - with every member ("Well, not every member... We're not all raging alcoholics like you...") of society suddenly convinced that they have magically developed some sort of will power or something - and Saskia and I love to jump on the ol' bandwagon.

So even though our university "Refreshers" is on the horizon, we have vowed not to let a drop of alcohol touch our lips until February is upon us. And then (lucky, lucky you) to share our eagerly anticipated memoirs with the public: exactly what happens on a clear week of nights out when you're eagle eyed and completely alert? 

It should be noted that Saskia tried to go through the tail end of Freshers sober, because of illness, but caved with somewhat disastrous results (check the previous post). She's a trouper, though, so one failure isn't going to stop The Sassy Fox being out in (very sober, sarcastic) force until the second month arrives. We don't know what to expect. ("I'm guessing not much." "Shut up Sas.")

Coping with a Double Life 

Arriving back at university after Christmas left us feeling out of sorts: just where do we live, exactly? I know I order ASOS to uni and anything important to my parents' house, but what does this mean?

"Home is where the heart is" and so on, but frankly my heart is still very much attached to Jude Law in The Holiday, and Saskia's?
"Oh, I'd have to say it's with Matt Baker from Countryfile."
Well then...
I'm sad to say that home is neither of those places.

We've decided to devise a helping hand for anybody out there feeling similarly 'in-between': here is how to cope when you feel as though you're living in two places at once.

• Perhaps most importantly: get yo'self a Saskia. Inspired by J.K Rowling's impressively disturbing Quirrell-Voldemort-Turban debacle, we call our friendship "Turban Power", so-called not because of any Dark Magic, noseless action or stuttering, but because our minds are so vividly and consistently connected, we may as well share a head. You need such a flatmate to cope with the uni-home transition. Nicknames may vary. Subject to availability.  

• Do not wallow. Focus on the present moment. Don't bore your flatmate with videos of your dog, nor your mother with stories about that one "so, so, totally hilarious" Whatsapp conversation. Maybe you just had to be there.
  
  
  
• You are not the Chosen One. Everybody has just moved to university and away from their family and friends. Moping will only encourage others to do the same, and before you know it you're responsible for a frightening stampede of students heading on an impromptu weekend home.
• See the positive. You have two homes! You haven't lost either... Unless something tragic happened over Christmas. Be happy that you have one place to enjoy a dishwasher, and one to stroll in to at 5am, munching on a burger while haphazardly harmonising to Jar of Hearts, without being questioned. (You could even reheat the unfinished chips from this meal the next day without being judged! ...Much.) (No, you'll always be judged for that.) 
  
  

  

  You'd be correct in suspecting that this is Nutella

• Have some fun with this opportunity. Create a new identity! You have a chance to be whoever you want to be, no questions asked. This wasn't where today's post was supposed to go, but heck, you actually could lead a double life. Here are some clips you may find inspirational if this is a path you're interested in: 
• For beginners
• Intermediate
• Double Life experts: take the Double Life to the extreme

So take some time to fully enjoy the perks of living in two places at once. And be thankful that Matt Baker from Countryfile isn't harbouring any of your vital organs.

~ The Sassy Fox

The Top 10 Ways of Having an Utterly Smashing Night Out

University Freshers’ Week can be ever so daunting, with new faces appearing every which way and an overwhelming expectation to “PARTY HARD!!!!!!!” to the point of disturbing exhaustion and tears until Christmas comes.

But somehow Semester Two and “Refreshers” have come around, and by now, Sas and I consider ourselves professionals at making it through the most surreal of nights out (almost) unscathed.

Thus we have dubbed ourselves completely qualified to assist anybody who ever plans on going on a night out ever again. Here is our comprehensive list of “The Top 10 Ways of Having an Utterly Smashing Night Out*!”, not at all inspired by true and real events of the past few months … You’re welcome.

1)     If your shower is making suspicious gurgling noises and all of the toilets in your flat refuse to flush during the day, definitely don’t do anything about it before embarking on a night out. No, no, really – you’ll want to leave it until the early hours of the morning when you stumble back in and find yourself homeless because of major sewage problems in the building. Trying to salvage your precious belongings from the sewer-flood is like a nifty treasure hunt, while begging your brand new friends to lend you their kitchen floor to nap on is a great flat-bonding activity.

Foam out of the sink? The sign of a GOOD TIME!

2)     If you are seriously ill, go on a night out! It’ll take your mind off the illness, and will prevent you from being called a weakling. Furthermore, once you’re out, you may as well drink copious amounts of alcohol. It’ll make you feel better. On the off chance that it doesn’t, and you end up being dragged by a fangirl into a mosh pit during Nick Grimshaw’s DJ set and then throwing up in the middle of the crowd… Oh well. It’s a handy test for finding out who your true pals are when you are left to fend for yourself in a horde of raving teens.

A distance from the stage that's worth the upchuck reflex

3)     Never pre-drink in a flat with stable ventilation. Pick the venue with the fewest windows and vents you can find – where’s the fun of pre-ing if you’re hydrated, sweat-free and conscious?

4)     If a flatmate leaves a night out early, it is always a good idea to convince them that they have missed something exciting. For instance, why not stage a 'cosy moment' between another two flatmates? There will be nothing like the panic the party-leaver feels at the prospect of flatmate incest. A friendly, gentle reminder that bailing on a club night will be punished.

5)     If a friend is selling tickets to a club to make him or herself a profit, definitely go along, regardless of the club, its whereabouts, or its reputation. It is actually quite soothing to be in a near-silent club that is so empty you can feel the onset of frostbite.

6)     Try to climb bicycle racks. All of them. You can’t go wrong.

Nothing a bit of Arnica can't solve.

7)     Chugging vodka is invariably a great idea. In fact, chugging vodka is a renowned method of staving off those pesky paramedics!

8)     If you don’t feel that you’re looking your best, there’s no need to be camera shy – just drink a little more, so that you’re simply unaware of the paparazzi snapshotting your every move. Tomorrow, it will be a refreshing and fun way to reflect on the night’s antics.

9)      Planning a night out in the country’s capital? Why not pick a Sunday evening? You’ll love the gentle lull of the ghost town, and it will make you consider some thought-provoking questions, like, “If the population of London is over eight million, why have we only seen one family of Dutch tourists, and a stray cat?”

10)  If you feel a little too drunk to stay out, be sensible and have a responsible friend bundle you into a taxi back to your accommodation... Then get the alcohol out of your system by the quickest means, find a different group of friends and get a taxi straight back to the club. Why waste a good night?

*These are guidelines only and for your own safety, please do not follow any of them. As Saskia calls out to me every time I leave the flat without her (so, once, weeks ago): “Be safe!”

Saskia being utterly, utterly safe.

~ The Sassy Fox

Soul-Warming Winter Drinks

Over the past few weeks, as illness, chills and deadlines have hit us, Saskia and I have found that evenings are no longer meant for hectic pre-drinks and mad nights out, but rather re-runs of New Girl and lots (and lots) of soul-warming drinks.

The two of us are always partial to tea – normal, green, mint, chai – you name it, we probably chuck it in a mug and infuse it into water. Yet of late, we decided something a little more special was needed to get us through the stress of the end of our first semester of life away from home.

Thus we came up with some warming winter evening drinks to see you through that pesky coursework you were set over the holidays, or the fact that you have only been home for three days but your family is already driving you mad.

Difficulty Rating: Louisa - Saskia - Team Effort Essential

Louisa’s Baileys Hot Chocolate (for Two)

You will need:

·                     Baileys Irish Cream

·                     Hot chocolate powder

·                     Milk

·                     Essential Baileys listening: anything from the Love Actually soundtrack. Go upbeat and get your Hugh Grant on with “Jump” – the Pointer Sisters, or sit back and weep with “Here with Me” – Dido.

1.           Measure two mug-fuls of milk and pour them into a small saucepan. Turn the hob on to medium heat.

2.           Spoon roughly 6 teaspoons of chocolate powder into the milk as it heats (quantity instructions normally found on packet)

3.           Stir thoroughly until all lumps dissolve

4.           Use one small tumbler, or two large shot glasses, to pour Baileys into the milk. Simply up the alcohol content if you’ve had a stressful day! (Don’t. Drink responsibly. And be weary of using these recipes too early on – the nickname “Day-Drinker”, however inaccurate, sticks around)

5.           Stir together until the milk is steaming – do not let it boil

6.           Pour into two mugs, burn your tongue a few times, and enjoy.

Saskia’s Spicy Mulled Wine

You will need:

•  An orange or two clementines
• A bottle of wine
• A cinnamon stick
•  Cloves
•  Nutmeg
• Essential Mulled Wine Listening:  “White Winter Hymnal” - Fleet Foxes

1.   Cut up your citrus fruit into segments (for those of you unfamiliar with the world of fruit—make it look like a chocolate orange)
2. Add the wine, citrus fruit and your choice of spices into a large pan and let it simmer over a low heat until warmed through. Make sure it doesn’t boil !
3. Ladle into adorable mugs (other mugs will suffice, but it’s not as fun).

 Of course, this recipe is just a blueprint, so go crazy with your flavours! Why not try adding…

•   Slices of apple
•  Have a Berry Christmas! Add blueberries, blackberries and raspberries. 
•  Cardamom seeds (best to crush the seeds in a pestle and mortar, or with the flat edge of a knife)
•  A chai tea bag
•  Star Anise
• Feeling a bit chilli? Why not spice up with a bit of the hot stuff and add a few dried chillies or chilli powder.

 ...Saskia is on point with the puns this season.

So there you have it. Warming drinks to see you through coursework, storms, exam stress, and the inevitable failing of your New Year resolutions.

~The Sassy Fox

Sunday Savoury Pancakes

It's Sunday evening. We eagerly open the fridge after a long, potentially hungover day of procrastinating (Louisa) and actually working (Saskia). Our eyes widen with expectations of a roast dinner having magically appeared, fully ready to serve, but alas this is the #studentlyf and reality hits hard. What met our eyes is as follows:

• Milk
• A full bag of spinach (no, really)
• A quarter jar of pesto
• Two eggs
• Cheese
• Lots of cheese

The eternal question appeared: what the hell are we having for dinner? 

Fear not, for Saskia and I have devised the ultimate Sunday-Leftovers scheme. We present to you our Sunday Savoury Pancake recipe.

Difficulty Rating: Louisa - Saskia - Team Effort Essential

You will need:

• 300ml semi-skimmed milk
• 100g plain flour
• 2 eggs
• Pinch of salt
• Fillings of choice [see below]
• Essential pancake listening: "If You Wanna", The Vaccines

This has been a long-running Sunday routine, to the extent that we have defined roles in the Pancake Creation Process. Saskia, essentially, does the "dangerous" bit. You know, the bit with the heat and  - god forbid - the whisk. Louisa has no such responsibility.

Saskia's pancake mix:

1. Measure said ingredients 
2. Whisk the eggs together in a small bowl and abandon momentarily 
3. Add the flour and a pinch of salt to a large bowl, and create a well in the middle
4. Then add the milk and whisked eggs into the well. Whisk together until smooth
5. Set aside for twenty minutes or so to let the mixture rest and then get cookin'

Louisa's Topping Ideas: 

Cheddar and chopped tomato

Basil, grated mozzarella and tomato

Spinach, pesto and cheddar

Cheddar and ham

... Basically whack some grated cheese in and you've got yourself a bangin' pancake.

Cooking Method:

1. Get yourself some utensils. Preferably ones useful to the pancake-making process. We're talking a ladle and various flat spatulas.
2. Heat the pan on medium-high and place a nob ("No, no, it's more a blob, it's a blob...") of butter into it. ("Actually you should put the butter in first, or you'll burn the pan. Like you did that time with the pasta, Louisa.")
3. Place a ladle-ful of batter into the pan once the butter is bubbling. Wait a couple of minutes to gently slide a spatula under the pancake and flip it over. You could even go wild and try to flip it in the pan. Saskia has had mixed results with this.
4. As soon as you flip it over, place your chosen fillings onto one half of dat p-cake. Wait a minute (we like the cheese to get melting) then fold the un-topping-ed half over the top. Gently slide onto a plate.
5. Repeat until batter is used. ("Yeah, like they're going to keep going after the batter's gone.")

Sunday night sorted. We like to end this little soirée with a loud dance party to noughties pop music... Oh, wait, no, that's not just Sundays. Enjoy.

~The Sassy Fox

I'm a Life Guru

It's funny how, after a glass of Bailey's and a fair few old-school Shakira tracks, I'm suddenly convinced that I'm a cooking (and general life) connoisseur and guru. Yet here we are.

... By "we", I of course mean myself and my mediocre flatmate Saskia. We are currently first year students at the University of Leeds, and we've decided that the only way to entertain ourselves of a winter evening is by sharing our expertise (HA HA) with the world. Cooking, studying, stress, and more cooking: you name it, we probably think we know quite a lot about it.

Watch this space.

Why do you paint your nails?

...The classic question. Anyone who has the honour of following me on Instagram or seeing my Facebook knows that I love nothing more than to break open a bottle of nail polish (with the exception of watching A Knight's Tale but that's another infatuation for another day). From 2006 when my manicures were so messy it looked like I'd just clawed my way out of a 127 Hours sequel, to nowadays when I [like to] think they're more presentable, I must have painted hundreds of nails. This is a terrifying number (for you. I am the girl with 110 nail polishes and no such number frightens me).

What is the appeal of dressing my nails in a surreal selection of designs? People ask this as I feverishly offer them a manicure - if you are on my property, I take it as an invitation to get out those Essie bottles. Am I being paid to do it? Does it take far less time than it seems? Am I secretly hooked on the smell of nail varnish, and this post is actually a cry for help? (... Do I have a life?)

No. No, no, and no.

Here are my reasons for nail-painting. Prepare to be shocked.

1. I just enjoy it. Yes, I genuinely find it fun to create miniature paintings on my hands. It's portable and temporary, what's not to like? I no longer do art as a subject, so I have even more reason to crack open a polish - so much less time-consuming than dragging out a full-sized canvas... And unlike acrylic paint, nail polish is available in Boots. 
2. It cheers me up. Try to look me in the eye and tell me that ten happy, pink pigs wouldn't put a smile on that face o' yours.
3. It's unique. No other accessory can be personalised in so much detail, at the drop of a hat. Hoorah for being an individual!

I finally got around to creating an Instagram dedicated solely to nail art, so click here if you would like to see some more of what goes on my nails.

So when I inevitably offer to paint your nails (no one is safe), don't ask "Are you sure?" - believe that I like doing it. You've just given me 10 extra mini-canvases. Thanks.

Interview with the Director: 'Frost and Fire'

On the 18th October 2013 I interviewed Mr P. Heap, writer and director of 'Frost and Fire'. The cast, of around thirty, performed the play on the 7th, 8th and 9th November. It was a promenade production: three groups of audience saw different scenes in separate places, one after another.

‘Frost and Fire’: how do you expect to feel on the opening night?

I will be exhausted. The nerves don’t really kick in for me as a director; if you've written it, then you've done your job! The feeling on opening night is very, very tired and hopefully at the end of it being very, very pleased.

What is it like to have your own words brought to life by a group of amateur actors? I can imagine it’s a little nerve-racking.

There’s no problem – amateur actors tend to be pretty good, or you wouldn’t cast them. The actors we’ve got here are great, and I’ve been so pleased with the way that they’ve taken the dialogue and made the most of it. The dialogue was actually created with the people who had been cast in mind; I wrote the play knowing that certain people will be acting the parts.

Obviously the plans behind a production like this don’t form overnight – can you give me an idea of how long it’s been in the pipeline?

It actually started off looking at the stories of Hans Andersen. Originally that was going to be the main focus, but it’s interesting how it then changed. Gradually the idea of having a play which was based on three very separate things came into my mind. That was probably about two years ago, and then it was a matter of finding out ‘What stories do I want to use?’, ‘What message do I want to put across?’ and so on.

There is a myriad of different ideas and styles in the play – how did they come about?

There are two basic things in terms of style. First, story-telling: just one person or a group of people sat down and talking to another group of people. The other one was immersive theatre which is a big love of mine... Anything you write is an extension of yourself. I can look at that play and pick out bits and think, ‘that is about me’, ‘that is something that I’m interested in’. There are bits in there which are directly taken from my life...  I will not say which bits they are! Details are changed in all sorts of ways but at its heart there are quite a lot of things from my own experience.

Why did you choose the themes you did?

The main theme is the moments in your life where you’re faced with a decision. I chose to dramatise those particular moments... Dramatising moments of change. I thought New Year’s Eve was the perfect time to do it, the time when you’re making decisions about what the next year is going to be.

As the playwright I’m sure you could divulge a couple of subtle details and links that you’ve planted in the script – is there anything that you expect the audience not to notice?

There are certain echoes in terms of lines. For example, the phrase ‘a step into the unknown’ is said in each of the three plays in different ways, to show however different people’s lives are, however different the choices they face are, they are all an important choice.

If you look at the names of characters, a lot of them are ‘virtue’ names; Grace, Verity, Faith, Hope and so on. The surnames, which you might not hear, are often related to trees with healing properties; you have a character whose surname is Rowan, for example, and the cleaner’s second name is Dabrowski, a name which, in Polish, relates to the oak tree. It’s about roots; it’s about growth and healing.

There are some characters who have names of archangels. The three archangels are Gabriel, Michael and Raphael; there is a Gabriella, a Michelle, and a Raphael. The symbolic name of the place where we are is called ‘Angeltown’; in drama there are a lot of evil characters, but I wanted something where there are people who ‘do good’.

So far, what has been the exciting part of the rehearsal process... And the most stressful?

The most exciting part was when suddenly all the three scenes ran together. You write something, hoping that it’s going to all fit... when it comes together, you realise that it’s going to work. The most stressful is early on, when you are not sure as to how it’s going to go. It’s the ‘step into the unknown’!

If you had to describe, in three words, how you’re hoping the audience will feel after seeing the production, what would they be?

Moved... Hopeful... Reflective.

Would you like me to explain those?

Yes, please do.

There are moments which people will in some way relate to their own lives, and I hope that that becomes quite moving. Hopeful, because a lot of the play might be coming across as very dark... You have to get through all the difficult times and then that makes the moment when suddenly everything looks better, even better. For each of these plays, there is hope at the end.

Reflective... It’s not just about the people on stage; it’s about everyone’s lives. This is not just about other people, this is about us, and I hope that people reflect on that in their own way.

Finally, is there anything else you would like to voice?

For a student to offer to act in a play when they haven’t got a clue what it’s going to be like takes a great leap of faith, a leap of faith in me as a teacher and as a writer. I’d like to thank everybody who is involved for having that faith in me – that I could write something that would live up to the high standards that I expect of them.

Thank you very much.