Why do you paint your nails?

...The classic question. Anyone who has the honour of following me on Instagram or seeing my Facebook knows that I love nothing more than to break open a bottle of nail polish (with the exception of watching A Knight's Tale but that's another infatuation for another day). From 2006 when my manicures were so messy it looked like I'd just clawed my way out of a 127 Hours sequel, to nowadays when I [like to] think they're more presentable, I must have painted hundreds of nails. This is a terrifying number (for you. I am the girl with 110 nail polishes and no such number frightens me).

What is the appeal of dressing my nails in a surreal selection of designs? People ask this as I feverishly offer them a manicure - if you are on my property, I take it as an invitation to get out those Essie bottles. Am I being paid to do it? Does it take far less time than it seems? Am I secretly hooked on the smell of nail varnish, and this post is actually a cry for help? (... Do I have a life?)

No. No, no, and no.

Here are my reasons for nail-painting. Prepare to be shocked.

1. I just enjoy it. Yes, I genuinely find it fun to create miniature paintings on my hands. It's portable and temporary, what's not to like? I no longer do art as a subject, so I have even more reason to crack open a polish - so much less time-consuming than dragging out a full-sized canvas... And unlike acrylic paint, nail polish is available in Boots. 
2. It cheers me up. Try to look me in the eye and tell me that ten happy, pink pigs wouldn't put a smile on that face o' yours.
3. It's unique. No other accessory can be personalised in so much detail, at the drop of a hat. Hoorah for being an individual!

I finally got around to creating an Instagram dedicated solely to nail art, so click here if you would like to see some more of what goes on my nails.

So when I inevitably offer to paint your nails (no one is safe), don't ask "Are you sure?" - believe that I like doing it. You've just given me 10 extra mini-canvases. Thanks.