This is not about spies and doppelgangers.
Sorry.
Firstly, we need to announce the commencement of a social experiment involving a) Refreshers, b) sociologists and c) actually us pretending to be the sociologists. Sounds exciting but simultaneously incredibly ominous, doesn't it? That's how we like it.
"Dry January" is all the rage at the moment - with every member ("Well, not every member... We're not all raging alcoholics like you...") of society suddenly convinced that they have magically developed some sort of will power or something - and Saskia and I love to jump on the ol' bandwagon.
So even though our university "Refreshers" is on the horizon, we have vowed not to let a drop of alcohol touch our lips until February is upon us. And then (lucky, lucky you) to share our eagerly anticipated memoirs with the public: exactly what happens on a clear week of nights out when you're eagle eyed and completely alert?
It should be noted that Saskia tried to go through the tail end of Freshers sober, because of illness, but caved with somewhat disastrous results (check the previous post). She's a trouper, though, so one failure isn't going to stop The Sassy Fox being out in (very sober, sarcastic) force until the second month arrives. We don't know what to expect. ("I'm guessing not much." "Shut up Sas.")
Coping with a Double Life
Arriving back at university after Christmas left us feeling out of sorts: just where do we live, exactly? I know I order ASOS to uni and anything important to my parents' house, but what does this mean?
"Home is where the heart is" and so on, but frankly my heart is still very much attached to Jude Law in The Holiday, and Saskia's?
"Oh, I'd have to say it's with Matt Baker from Countryfile."
Well then...
I'm sad to say that home is neither of those places.
We've decided to devise a helping hand for anybody out there feeling similarly 'in-between': here is how to cope when you feel as though you're living in two places at once.
- Perhaps most importantly: get yo'self a Saskia. Inspired by J.K Rowling's impressively disturbing Quirrell-Voldemort-Turban debacle, we call our friendship "Turban Power", so-called not because of any Dark Magic, noseless action or stuttering, but because our minds are so vividly and consistently connected, we may as well share a head. You need such a flatmate to cope with the uni-home transition. Nicknames may vary. Subject to availability.
- Do not wallow. Focus on the present moment. Don't bore your flatmate with videos of your dog, nor your mother with stories about that one "so, so, totally hilarious" Whatsapp conversation. Maybe you just had to be there.
- You are not the Chosen One. Everybody has just moved to university and away from their family and friends. Moping will only encourage others to do the same, and before you know it you're responsible for a frightening stampede of students heading on an impromptu weekend home.
- See the positive. You have two homes! You haven't lost either... Unless something tragic happened over Christmas. Be happy that you have one place to enjoy a dishwasher, and one to stroll in to at 5am, munching on a burger while haphazardly harmonising to Jar of Hearts, without being questioned. (You could even reheat the unfinished chips from this meal the next day without being judged! ...Much.) (No, you'll always be judged for that.)
You'd be correct in suspecting that this is Nutella - Have some fun with this opportunity. Create a new identity! You have a chance to be whoever you want to be, no questions asked. This wasn't where today's post was supposed to go, but heck, you actually could lead a double life. Here are some clips you may find inspirational if this is a path you're interested in:
So take some time to fully enjoy the perks of living in two places at once. And be thankful that Matt Baker from Countryfile isn't harbouring any of your vital organs.
~ The Sassy Fox
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