How to Cope with Living a Double Life: Part 1 + "Dry January" Attempts?!

The title is far more dramatic that its contents.
This is not about spies and doppelgangers.
Sorry.

Firstly, we need to announce the commencement of a social experiment involving a) Refreshers, b) sociologists and c) actually us pretending to be the sociologists. Sounds exciting but simultaneously incredibly ominous, doesn't it? That's how we like it.

"Dry January" is all the rage at the moment - with every member ("Well, not every member... We're not all raging alcoholics like you...") of society suddenly convinced that they have magically developed some sort of will power or something - and Saskia and I love to jump on the ol' bandwagon.

So even though our university "Refreshers" is on the horizon, we have vowed not to let a drop of alcohol touch our lips until February is upon us. And then (lucky, lucky you) to share our eagerly anticipated memoirs with the public: exactly what happens on a clear week of nights out when you're eagle eyed and completely alert? 

It should be noted that Saskia tried to go through the tail end of Freshers sober, because of illness, but caved with somewhat disastrous results (check the previous post). She's a trouper, though, so one failure isn't going to stop The Sassy Fox being out in (very sober, sarcastic) force until the second month arrives. We don't know what to expect. ("I'm guessing not much." "Shut up Sas.")

Coping with a Double Life 

Arriving back at university after Christmas left us feeling out of sorts: just where do we live, exactly? I know I order ASOS to uni and anything important to my parents' house, but what does this mean?

"Home is where the heart is" and so on, but frankly my heart is still very much attached to Jude Law in The Holiday, and Saskia's?
"Oh, I'd have to say it's with Matt Baker from Countryfile."
Well then...
I'm sad to say that home is neither of those places.

We've decided to devise a helping hand for anybody out there feeling similarly 'in-between': here is how to cope when you feel as though you're living in two places at once.

• Perhaps most importantly: get yo'self a Saskia. Inspired by J.K Rowling's impressively disturbing Quirrell-Voldemort-Turban debacle, we call our friendship "Turban Power", so-called not because of any Dark Magic, noseless action or stuttering, but because our minds are so vividly and consistently connected, we may as well share a head. You need such a flatmate to cope with the uni-home transition. Nicknames may vary. Subject to availability.  

• Do not wallow. Focus on the present moment. Don't bore your flatmate with videos of your dog, nor your mother with stories about that one "so, so, totally hilarious" Whatsapp conversation. Maybe you just had to be there.
  
  
  
• You are not the Chosen One. Everybody has just moved to university and away from their family and friends. Moping will only encourage others to do the same, and before you know it you're responsible for a frightening stampede of students heading on an impromptu weekend home.
• See the positive. You have two homes! You haven't lost either... Unless something tragic happened over Christmas. Be happy that you have one place to enjoy a dishwasher, and one to stroll in to at 5am, munching on a burger while haphazardly harmonising to Jar of Hearts, without being questioned. (You could even reheat the unfinished chips from this meal the next day without being judged! ...Much.) (No, you'll always be judged for that.) 
  
  

  

  You'd be correct in suspecting that this is Nutella

• Have some fun with this opportunity. Create a new identity! You have a chance to be whoever you want to be, no questions asked. This wasn't where today's post was supposed to go, but heck, you actually could lead a double life. Here are some clips you may find inspirational if this is a path you're interested in: 
• For beginners
• Intermediate
• Double Life experts: take the Double Life to the extreme

So take some time to fully enjoy the perks of living in two places at once. And be thankful that Matt Baker from Countryfile isn't harbouring any of your vital organs.

~ The Sassy Fox

The Top 10 Ways of Having an Utterly Smashing Night Out

University Freshers’ Week can be ever so daunting, with new faces appearing every which way and an overwhelming expectation to “PARTY HARD!!!!!!!” to the point of disturbing exhaustion and tears until Christmas comes.

But somehow Semester Two and “Refreshers” have come around, and by now, Sas and I consider ourselves professionals at making it through the most surreal of nights out (almost) unscathed.

Thus we have dubbed ourselves completely qualified to assist anybody who ever plans on going on a night out ever again. Here is our comprehensive list of “The Top 10 Ways of Having an Utterly Smashing Night Out*!”, not at all inspired by true and real events of the past few months … You’re welcome.

1)     If your shower is making suspicious gurgling noises and all of the toilets in your flat refuse to flush during the day, definitely don’t do anything about it before embarking on a night out. No, no, really – you’ll want to leave it until the early hours of the morning when you stumble back in and find yourself homeless because of major sewage problems in the building. Trying to salvage your precious belongings from the sewer-flood is like a nifty treasure hunt, while begging your brand new friends to lend you their kitchen floor to nap on is a great flat-bonding activity.

Foam out of the sink? The sign of a GOOD TIME!

2)     If you are seriously ill, go on a night out! It’ll take your mind off the illness, and will prevent you from being called a weakling. Furthermore, once you’re out, you may as well drink copious amounts of alcohol. It’ll make you feel better. On the off chance that it doesn’t, and you end up being dragged by a fangirl into a mosh pit during Nick Grimshaw’s DJ set and then throwing up in the middle of the crowd… Oh well. It’s a handy test for finding out who your true pals are when you are left to fend for yourself in a horde of raving teens.

A distance from the stage that's worth the upchuck reflex

3)     Never pre-drink in a flat with stable ventilation. Pick the venue with the fewest windows and vents you can find – where’s the fun of pre-ing if you’re hydrated, sweat-free and conscious?

4)     If a flatmate leaves a night out early, it is always a good idea to convince them that they have missed something exciting. For instance, why not stage a 'cosy moment' between another two flatmates? There will be nothing like the panic the party-leaver feels at the prospect of flatmate incest. A friendly, gentle reminder that bailing on a club night will be punished.

5)     If a friend is selling tickets to a club to make him or herself a profit, definitely go along, regardless of the club, its whereabouts, or its reputation. It is actually quite soothing to be in a near-silent club that is so empty you can feel the onset of frostbite.

6)     Try to climb bicycle racks. All of them. You can’t go wrong.

Nothing a bit of Arnica can't solve.

7)     Chugging vodka is invariably a great idea. In fact, chugging vodka is a renowned method of staving off those pesky paramedics!

8)     If you don’t feel that you’re looking your best, there’s no need to be camera shy – just drink a little more, so that you’re simply unaware of the paparazzi snapshotting your every move. Tomorrow, it will be a refreshing and fun way to reflect on the night’s antics.

9)      Planning a night out in the country’s capital? Why not pick a Sunday evening? You’ll love the gentle lull of the ghost town, and it will make you consider some thought-provoking questions, like, “If the population of London is over eight million, why have we only seen one family of Dutch tourists, and a stray cat?”

10)  If you feel a little too drunk to stay out, be sensible and have a responsible friend bundle you into a taxi back to your accommodation... Then get the alcohol out of your system by the quickest means, find a different group of friends and get a taxi straight back to the club. Why waste a good night?

*These are guidelines only and for your own safety, please do not follow any of them. As Saskia calls out to me every time I leave the flat without her (so, once, weeks ago): “Be safe!”

Saskia being utterly, utterly safe.

~ The Sassy Fox

Soul-Warming Winter Drinks

Over the past few weeks, as illness, chills and deadlines have hit us, Saskia and I have found that evenings are no longer meant for hectic pre-drinks and mad nights out, but rather re-runs of New Girl and lots (and lots) of soul-warming drinks.

The two of us are always partial to tea – normal, green, mint, chai – you name it, we probably chuck it in a mug and infuse it into water. Yet of late, we decided something a little more special was needed to get us through the stress of the end of our first semester of life away from home.

Thus we came up with some warming winter evening drinks to see you through that pesky coursework you were set over the holidays, or the fact that you have only been home for three days but your family is already driving you mad.

Difficulty Rating: Louisa - Saskia - Team Effort Essential

Louisa’s Baileys Hot Chocolate (for Two)

You will need:

·                     Baileys Irish Cream

·                     Hot chocolate powder

·                     Milk

·                     Essential Baileys listening: anything from the Love Actually soundtrack. Go upbeat and get your Hugh Grant on with “Jump” – the Pointer Sisters, or sit back and weep with “Here with Me” – Dido.

1.           Measure two mug-fuls of milk and pour them into a small saucepan. Turn the hob on to medium heat.

2.           Spoon roughly 6 teaspoons of chocolate powder into the milk as it heats (quantity instructions normally found on packet)

3.           Stir thoroughly until all lumps dissolve

4.           Use one small tumbler, or two large shot glasses, to pour Baileys into the milk. Simply up the alcohol content if you’ve had a stressful day! (Don’t. Drink responsibly. And be weary of using these recipes too early on – the nickname “Day-Drinker”, however inaccurate, sticks around)

5.           Stir together until the milk is steaming – do not let it boil

6.           Pour into two mugs, burn your tongue a few times, and enjoy.

Saskia’s Spicy Mulled Wine

You will need:

•  An orange or two clementines
• A bottle of wine
• A cinnamon stick
•  Cloves
•  Nutmeg
• Essential Mulled Wine Listening:  “White Winter Hymnal” - Fleet Foxes

1.   Cut up your citrus fruit into segments (for those of you unfamiliar with the world of fruit—make it look like a chocolate orange)
2. Add the wine, citrus fruit and your choice of spices into a large pan and let it simmer over a low heat until warmed through. Make sure it doesn’t boil !
3. Ladle into adorable mugs (other mugs will suffice, but it’s not as fun).

 Of course, this recipe is just a blueprint, so go crazy with your flavours! Why not try adding…

•   Slices of apple
•  Have a Berry Christmas! Add blueberries, blackberries and raspberries. 
•  Cardamom seeds (best to crush the seeds in a pestle and mortar, or with the flat edge of a knife)
•  A chai tea bag
•  Star Anise
• Feeling a bit chilli? Why not spice up with a bit of the hot stuff and add a few dried chillies or chilli powder.

 ...Saskia is on point with the puns this season.

So there you have it. Warming drinks to see you through coursework, storms, exam stress, and the inevitable failing of your New Year resolutions.

~The Sassy Fox