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| Oh. |
I was lucky (or worked quite hard. Either way): on 5th November I escaped the fiery claws of gnawing disappointment. But post by writer and friend Megan: "The Cha-Cha Slide Taught Me Nothing Part I" reinforced that actually, in so many realms of life, you just don't. You can't just act like it's a Year 3 birthday party and "Reverse, reverse!" your way back through the crap. You can't scream "EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS!" and expect the world to be rectified. You'll get upset and properly well confused innit, and when it comes to the bit where you gotta "Charlie Brown", you'll be all over the shop.
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| Who actually knows how to Cha-Cha? |
The disappointment or general upset inevitably comes, be it in work, school, university or your personal life (or conveniently out of the blue for no reason whatsoever but that stress packs a punch anyway), and you need to be prepared with 'the next step'. Sometimes, it just is not as easy as taking a deep breath and saying you will do better next time. Sometimes, it knocks you very, very hard.
Megan and I have turned our posts into a collaboration of two parts: hers about the moment when you go back to something because it's familiar, against all better advice or judgement. She also admits it's not healthy to do so, but it may well be a natural human trait that lets us cave so easily. We have teamed up to decide what comes next: whether a personal story like Megan's, a bad grade you didn't want, or just an utterly terrible day/week/month where I-don't-mean-to-exaggerate-or-anything-but it feels like the sun quite possibly won't rise the next day, I'm considering what you might be able to do in that situation.
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| If it's at this point, it has already gone too far. |
A friend said recently that in a tough situation, you have to "power on through". I disagree: you do not always need the power. It may well help, at times, but as long as you are getting through in any way available, that may be the utmost you can do. Powering through with the force of a thousand vodka-fuelled Freshers at a pub crawl is just fabulous when you have the energy, the motivation, the wind in your hair and you haven't just skipped your sixth lecture of the week (and Christ, I don't even have six lectures in a week so that's quite a triumph). ...What about the other times? When you feel feeble and very, very "un-okay" - and whether you deal with this by flouncing about from room to room declaring it to everybody who has a pulse, or just repeating it to yourself very, very quietly without anybody else having the slightest clue - "power" is the last thing you may be able to conjure up when it comes to feeling better. You haven't got the power to, um, power through. Yet you could crawl or just sort of... fester with some vague direction, and at some point you will magically be at the other side.
And it gets better: this will always apply. I'm only a lowly arts student, but I do not need a science degree to tell you that time will always go on. Whatever there is to "get through" will eventually be the past, and as Megan suggested - maybe that's where it should stay.
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| Seriously |
So just keep plodding on. Keep plugging away at everything, chipping away at any horrible-ness of this week or the week before, and don't be disheartened if today feels, hope-crushingly, just like yesterday did. Whether it's a 2:2 on an essay that wasn't even assessed, somebody you cannot bear to let go of, or anything more serious: do not be disheartened. If you won't believe me when I say it, take it from a whingey ginger kid instead:
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| Are u sure tho Annie bbe? |
Let the soothing, trashy pop of the 2000s help you along your way.
For more advice on how to cope with stress, specifically at university, see this article from #SpiceUKOnline. As mentioned in the article, please seek help if stress or negative feelings are persistently affecting your life.
