Fox en France Ep.4: Breakfast at Tiphaine's

Monday 3^rd Oct

The first full day was, predictably, twice as mad as the half day last week (my body may be weak but my mathematics is still shipshape), as I finished yet more paperwork and attended five hours of lessons. A new tidal wave of Mannons and Julies and Melvins and Tiphaines (so many Tiphaines, all spelt differently) asking me about my favourite French city, favourite colour, favourite food and whether or not I know French music (sorry, no… Still no).

"Pride and Prejudice" chapter suggestions!

Overwhelmed, I sneaked home between the last two lessons and had a huge cup of tea in the sun on my balcony to calm my nerves before heading back into the wilderness of the terminales class, which was no less intimidating than I expected. Thirty students around my own age stared blankly at me, maintaining a whole ‘nother level of cool-and-unbothered as they told their teacher they couldn’t think of any questions.  The silence ached and it even made me wish briefly that I was back with the fifteen-year-olds, having details of my love life excruciatingly wheedled out of me (kidding, nothing was as bad as that). The pain was made up for later in a literature class, when a group of ten students acted out a page from Pride and Prejudice and had to give their own English titles to the chapter – briefly back in my comfort zone.

I soon returned to my standard state of utterly baffled in an international politics lesson – taught all in English – as the teens were asked about the US elections. “I vote for Trump because,” started one boy, “he want to build a wall for Mexico, and I want to catching Mexicans!” Needless to say my jaw promptly unhinged and fell to the floor, but after two seconds of utter silence and baited breath, the whole class burst into laughter as the boy cried, “No no, it’s a joke! It’s just a joke! Donald Trump is…” (cue the entire room making an array of rehearsed negative gestures, ranging from thumbs down to elaborately mimed gagging). Panic over. Not teaching Trump supporters.

SO:

Clouds: A group of French eighteen year olds have a better analytical understanding of Jane Austen than I ever will, and (had to happen) one teacher has blown my I-Don’t-Speak-French act.

Silver linings: Tea tastes better on a balcony, my students aren’t racist, and I made a kebab joke to a class and they actually laughed. …Okay, so you had to be there.

Tuesday 4^th Oct

While walking through town

Big day. Big, scary day as I headed on the bus for an hour to my training/induction day. After a slight (major) malfunction on one (all) of my bus routes, including a near miss involving a school bus heading in the opposite direction to my destination, I made it to the training centre… And met other people who are also assistants in small towns. Absolutely joyous. Almost on par with receiving my attestation.

We were taught some exercises to use with students (useful, definitely will employ) and given too much free coffee (not useful, buzzing and eye-twitching followed). One exercise involved making up a story to surround a song lyric – and don’t ask me how and it definitely was not my fault at all but ours ended up being about parallel universes, plagues and magical boats. The training leader told me I had “a child’s mind” but she was half smiling so I think it was a compliment about my ability to relate to students. Actually it might have been a grimace at my peculiarity but let’s just pretend it was a matter of cultural misunderstanding.

All the chat about Donald Trump in the politics class yesterday made me think about how much I hate cultural stereotypes about countries’ traditions. ... In other news, ahem, I may be hosting a wine and cheese night soon for all the other assistants I met today to celebrate our first week in France.

Party time! Just a mildly colossal shame that I’ve remembered I live directly above one of my fellow teachers.

SO:

Clouds: Abysmally late to training day: Lou fails at transport again, cheese/wine rave may lose me a colleague and friend, frightening (but comforting/necessary) terrorism drill at the college during training (Europeans panic significantly, Americans shrug and know what to do).

Silver linings: There are others out there like me! (profound), I may be living remotely but “at least it’s in the pretty countryside” (thanks for that suggestion Sam, this week’s Opinion Box is now open if anybody would like to make a cloud/silver lining contribution), and I have made comfortable peace with my lack of oven.